The Secret to Joy
I will ever forget my Grandmother’s twinkling blue eyes. They always held so much love and joy, even in the midst of sorrow. She was born, Charley Belle Rogers, but we all called her Nanny. She was the only child, and the pride and joy of her parents, John and Mary. She lived an idyllic life as a child of the Great Depression. She was blessed to have parents that made a comfortable living which allowed her the comforts that so many people went without during that time. However, her parents raised her with an awareness of those in need. They taught her to share her comforts with those who could not afford them. They taught her to love the humble and poor in spirit, leaving her a lasting legacy of love for those around her.
She met my Grandfather, Miles Stanley, in high school and he was her one and only love. They eloped on New Years Eve of 1934, shortly after her eighteenth birthday. Together, they raised three daughters and a son, whom they tragically lost at age fifteen. Even through tragedy, she exuded love and joy. She had a special ability of making everyone she met feel like the most important person in the room. Each of her children and grandchildren felt they were her favorite. In my childhood, Nanny was my shining example of how to love.
In 1969, she lost my Grandfather to a heart attack. She was only fifty-three years old. I don’t remember her grief, I was not yet even a year old at the time, but I was a witness to her life following that loss. He was the love of her life, and she never looked at another man with the same sort of love again. She remained a widow, faithful to her one true love, all the rest of her days. As a still vibrant and beautiful middle-aged widow, she had her share of offers, but no man ever matched her Miles. I often wondered if she ever got lonely, but as an adult, I see that after my Grandfather’s death, she started tunneling that love into her family. I saw how she always endeavored to live a life full of joy and love and I began to desire to live the same way, if only I knew her secret.
When I was twenty-seven, my husband and I lost our son, Daniel. I can remember the pain and sympathy in Nanny’s eyes. We now shared a bond that no mother ever wants to share, the tragic loss of a child. We had always been close, but that bond deepened following Daniel’s death. On that day, she shared with me her secret to the joy and love that flowed from her onto everyone she met. I will never forget her words to me: “Love the Lord with all you have, Susan. Love your family like they will be gone tomorrow. Hold on to joy wherever you may find it. The secret to joy is love. Love conquers all.”
Her words have resonated with me all the days since. They have kept me sane in grief and tragedy. She again held my hand when we lost a second son, Gabriel. Time-and-time again, her words and example kept me on a path that countered sorrow and pain with joy and love. Her words and her faith set me on a course that will guide me through the rest of my life.
In 2014, I lost my husband, Marty, after a tortuous battle with cancer. At the same time, my Nanny was living her last few days on this earth. She died just months before I myself became a widow. The grief and pain were tremendous and it felt as if joy would be washed away forever by my tears. Nevertheless, in my mind I could hear my Nanny whispering to me, “Remember to love, that is the secret. Remember that love conquers all.” I began to pour out love onto those around me and my grief diminished. Joy returned slowly, poking its head up in my heart, like a crocus through the snow at the beginning of spring. The winter of my grief began to thaw, and the truth of my Nanny’s words all those years ago resonated within me. The secret to joy is love and love conquers all.
Blessings!
Susan Lee Rose
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